In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
