I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
