I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
