i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
