I like my sex mixed with concussions.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I looked at my own cervix.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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