What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
