so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize