I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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