I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize