You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
