Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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