we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
