One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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