New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
