so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
