The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
