I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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