so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize