Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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