would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
