dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize