Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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