it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The air taste purple.
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