I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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