hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
