sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
