Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
