Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
