It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
