Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
