i just had sex bonerless
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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