Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize