I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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