do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i now understand why vodka
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
