put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize