Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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