We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
