if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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