im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
