my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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