Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
