its not stalking. its research.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
