How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
