I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
