ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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