In America we eat man semen.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
