would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize