There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
