So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
