I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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