I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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