My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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