i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
