watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
