Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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