So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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