he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
