Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
