found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
