I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
