Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
