Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
