Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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