Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
