yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
