So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
