she woke up with a sticky ear
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
