and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
