That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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