is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
