Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
